Carrie

My husband had a child support hearing today and since his ex is so interested in reading my blog and attempting to use my posts in court to increase her child support, I thought I would write her this letter.

Carrie:

When I had heard the things you had to say today, I must admit I was upset, for about 5 minutes. Then I reminded myself that you are just another uninformed individual spouting off your opinions without knowing (1) the facts of my particular situation, (2) the complications that go along with all the prescribed medical treatments that the doctors gave me as choices or (3) statistical chances of my recovery given the highly aggressive form of c***** that I have.

We clearly are very different people. When my children or I have issues arise, I look at what is the root cause of the problem and don't just try to fix it by treating the symptoms. Take for instance my son. At an early age he was very hyper, had speech problems, threw temper tantrums that lasted for hours, had trouble counting and learning his letters. It was very obvious to me that something was going on. Sure, I was offered prescription drugs so that his behavior would be manageable and my life would be easier, but I didn't consider that an option. I changed his diet and put him in sports and his behavior and learning disabilities were no longer an issue. He is still dyslexic, that will never go away. Fortunately, he has other outlets for him to feel successful other than school, such as soccer and baseball and Bible quiz. So yes, I do encourage those things. They're good for him. They give him an outlet and are much less expensive than paying a psychiatrist to boost his self esteem. And also, help to take his mind off the fact that his mother has c*****.

I also encourage my children to work. Brennan has for the last two years refereed and mowed grass to earn money. All four of them rake leaves and shovel snow. They know if they want something extra that they will have to use their own money. I'm not buying them brand name shoes or clothes. I'll never buy them a phone. If they want to buy something or go somewhere they know that comes out of their own money. I want them to know that they have to work for the things they want.

Now, I know you only said the things you said today because your only concern is making sure you get more child support. I know you don't feel as though the almost $400 a month that is paid to you is enough. The only thing I can say is I'm sorry. I'm sorry that Bob doesn't make more money. I'm sorry that you lack compassion and empathy. I'm sorry that after 14 years you are still bitter and resentful.

Your understanding of how c***** is treated is very limited. To say that "she should get a double mastectomy and just be done with it" is not only, well, cold and insensitive, it was completely inappropriate and it crossed boundaries that just shouldn't be crossed. I should also add that I wouldn't "just be done with it". You see, the c***** tumors that I have are just a symptom of a bigger problem, but I don't expect you to understand that.

I doubt you have spent any time researching the side effects of chemo as you have never had to have that poison put into your veins. I have. I have read the side effects. I understand them quite well. I, after only having two rounds of chemo, am still experiencing side effects. Knowing that c***** is one of the side effects to both chemo and radiation did make me just a little hesitant to continue that route. In all honesty, I didn't like any of my options. But since I wasn't given the choice whether I wanted c***** or not, I picked what I felt would be best option for my family and me long term given my circumstances.

But please know that my blog was created so that people who actually care about me and my family could be updated on my health status and my progress, not so that you or your private investigator could obtain information that you had hoped would help you achieve your goal of getting more child support.

I had considered for a second not writing my blog any more, but then changed my mind. I don't care if you read it, in fact, I encourage you to. Perhaps you will gain more than just information to use "against us". Maybe you will actually learn something and can become a more informed person.

I pray that someday you won't have to go through what I am going through, but with the c***** rates being what they are (1 in 3) there is over a 30% chance that you will. If or when that day comes you can make whatever choice you want. Since this is my breast c***** I get to make my decisions. I get to decide what is best for me, not you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do, like fight for my life.